Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss. It is a physical, mental, social and spiritual process of adapting to a major change. Grief is a misunderstood mass of human emotion that we experience following any major change in a familiar pattern of behavior. The most immediate circumstance that comes to mind when we speak of grief is the death of a loved one. The feeling of reaching out for someone who has always been there, and being met with the emotional emptiness of realizing that they are no longer there.

Grief is experienced by everyone in quite different ways. However, almost everyone who experiences grief will share a wide range of emotions as well as some common thoughts and reactions. Your natural feelings and thoughts may include some of the following:

1. Extreme sorrow and longing characterized by intense crying and painful physical emptiness.
2. Disbelief and anger characterized by asking why and obsessing over the unfairness of life.
3. Obsessive regret characterized by continually questioning and judging your past actions.
4. Mental confusion characterized by the inability to be able to concentrate on anything.
5. Physical weakness characterized by loss of appetite, anxiety and sleeping problems.
6. Depression characterized by loneliness, helplessness and hopelessness.

rief is a process of awareness and adjustment to a new identity and a new reality. The intensity and duration of the grief process will vary greatly from person to person. The grief process does not follow a timetable. However, it can be somewhat like a roller coaster ride in the sense of the emotional mood swings and varying states of mind from minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day and week to week.

Your well-being needs to become your most important priority. Two of the most difficult realities which you will need to accept are that a loved one has died and your reality, as you once knew it, has changed. This acceptance begins the journey toward healing. One of the values of the funeral process is that it creates a psychological awareness of the reality of death.

There are several steps you can take initially to help you during your gradual adjustment to your new life and identity.

1. Express your emotions, thoughts and feeling to yourself and others openly, honestly and often.
2. Call and visit your family and friends whenever you need to talk with them.
3. Establish a daily schedule which requires you to do some small activities.
4. Minimize and defer, to a future date, any major decisions.
5. Place no time-recovery expectations upon yourself.
6. We can help you by lending you grief support material and referring you to grief support groups.

The answers to these questions may prove helpful to you & and your family in the months ahead. A support group is a self-help group run by & for people who have in common a particular problem or life situation. One of the benefits of a support group that it provides a place where one can talk with other people who have had a similar experience. The realization that you are not alone can be a great comfort, and someone who has "been there" can offer a special kind of understanding not available anywhere else. People in support groups can learn solutions from each other, new ways of coping and new reasons for hoping. Below are contact sources for information on local support groups.

SELF HELP GROUP CLEARINGHOUSE - For help in finding a support group for any type of bereavement circumstance. The Clearinghouse can advise you on the details of local self-help groups near you to meet your need. For guidance throughout the greater Philadelphia area pleas call Elder Help at 215-881-5750.

COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS - A National Organization dedicated to mutual support for parents bereaving the death of a child of any age. P.O. Box 3695 Oak Brook, IL 60522. Calling Compassionate Friend's referral service at 630-990-0010 guides you to a local chapter in your area.

AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF RETIRED PERSONS - A National Organization dedicated to the service of newly widowed persons of any age. 601 E. St., N.W. Washington, DC 20049. Calling AARPs referral service at 202-434-2277 guides you to a local support network.

YOUR LOCAL HOSPITAL - The Social Worker Department of your local hospital can provide you and your family with information about current local support groups which deal with both general and specific bereavement needs.

PLEASE REMEMBER - We have complied this list of self-help references in the hope they may be of assistance to you and your family in working through the grief process. If we can be of further assistance to you and your family in any way, please contact us.

Email: info@terryfuneralhome.com

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